First off I just want everyone to know that unfortunately I am qualified to make these statements because I have read the WHOLE Twilight saga. What exactly is a saga anyway? Is a saga a collection of books that makes my eyes want to detach from my brain so I wont have to read anymore? I feel like a saga is quite an assumption to entitle your books. Like there is no Lord of The Rings saga, or Harry Potter saga. Like way to make yourself sound awesome by labeling yourself a saga. From now on any high school student should label their last essay at the completion of a school year the ending of a saga. After Twilight everyone has the right to entitle their complete body of works a saga. UGH but anyway to the point 10 reasons not to read twilight.....(may contain spoilers) (but you suck if you care)
1) Anything that involves the heroes of the "saga" glittering in the sunlight is gay! Since when is it cool to sparkle in the sunlight.
2) "Tweens" are getting the wrong idea about love. Piggyback rides through the Forrest aren't sexy. As a matter of fact that could be possibly dangerous.
3) Parents are happy that their pre-teens are reading? Ummm I read a lot personally. And just cause your kid reads twilight doesn't necessarily mean that they are in the long haul to read literature classics. No I'm pretty sure the fact that your kids are reading Twilight makes them destined to read cheap romance novels for the rest of their lives. You know the ones with Fabio on the cover. Danielle Steel (name drop) must be real happy.
4) Apparently vampire's have powers. The main female vampire in the novel's power is that she can produce a shield. I'm sorry I'm not a feminist or anything but isn't that a little sexist? How come females always get the worst powers? Like the invisible girl sucked and that's basically the same thing. Oh Jessica Alba (name drop) played her eventually that's redeeming...oh wait.
5) Liking mythical creatures is not cool! I'm pretty sure there used to be something called dungeons and dragons and trust me those kids weren't cool!
6) Does anyone realize that vampire's don't eat regular food and stay up all night and they are becoming role models? I'm pretty sure Lindsey Lohan does the same thing and I do not think she is in any way shape or form a role model.
7) There is no such person as Edward Cullen he is played by an actor named Robert Pattinson. Stop screaming. ( I chose not to name drop, LEAVE HIM ALONE!)
8) I thought that girl from thirteen (name drop) was Hispanic, how the hell is she playing a vampire in the twilight movies.
9) There are Twilight movies.
10) Just face it, there will never be another Harry Potter. I wish Stephanie Meyer's first name was JK so at least I could take twilight as one big Joke. Damn you Stephanie Meyer!
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